The last 100 or so people whom I've met, with the exception of a few, I haven't really felt comfortable with. I blamed it on my own pickiness, being judgemental and hard to get along with. My social activity at school was limited to nervous giggling and "Honey..." or being completely lewd to break that mold. But now I've found people I don't have to try around, and I honestly think that I have a problem with females.

That aside, males and females together, I don't think I've met anyone I get along with quite as well as this in a long time. Not straight off the bat, anyway. Whether or not it goes beyond just getting along is beyond me. I have no idea. I don't have to have an idea. It's just a series of fun hours and some minutes here and there, nothing too electronic. I haven't lied to him yet. Well, I guess I didn't tell him why I walked into that column when he asked.

At the same time, I want to be in New York so badly right now its not even funny.

Everything's still well here. I think Lewis Black has Parkinsons.

Well.

So catch-up:

Wildwood: Not as good as last year, but good enough to do it again (granted some small changes to be made). It's weird. When we had 12 people last year, we all spent a lot of time together and I can say that I got equal exposure to everyone. With 14 people it got very cliquey and it was really weird. I guess there's a cutoff between hanging out with friends and a social experiment. The last morning was nice, and the last night with the tribal dancing. :)

The Race: I am so freaking proud of my team it's not even funny. A 1st, two 2nds, and a 5th? For only sending 5 races? Also, our newbies getting 2nd and Hattie getting 1st and BlackJack getting a trophy?? It was truly overwhelming. AND Our newbie Stephanie getting 7th in a sprint with someone she had never seen before?? God I love it. Even though the college kids did not do too well (lollerskates, to say the least), Jamie and I made up time. I didn't fail my team and I'm not blaming anyone for our performance. I feel bad for the two girls who are still in highschool because it was obvious that they had really tried this season only to get stuck with us. Whatever, I loved this weekend, too. They're some of my best friends with SO many insiders dating back to day one and I'm going to miss them SO much.

This week: I've sort of fallen into a routine. Wake up to be screamed at by my mother at 9 before she goes to work, pretend I'm doing her busywork, only to not be let out of the house that night, see Brian when I can sneak out or take him on errands with me. It's a good routine. Routine is good when you're trying to avoid everything else, you have routine to blame it on. Sucks when I actually want to hang out with other people, though, then it just gets in the way. Tomorrow might be different, because she didn't seem TOO mad when she got home today. I think for once I accomplished a task she wanted me to. Too bad I need to attack packing for DC now...

My Summer: Should be fantastic. I have my dream (well, almost) internship with one of the most prestigious Opera companies in America and the best boss (so far) I could ask for. My living arrangements should be stellar (basement of my mom's better half's house) and all in all it should be an amazing experience. Of course, I'm getting paid $2.50 an hour, which is histerical, but it's really not about the money. I think I'll probably get another job, or try, to pay for the metro ride into the city everyday. In August, I'm finally making my Hajj to my Meccah and going to Brazil. I've wanted to do this since I was born. My dad always talks about it and I was too young when he went last time so he took my sister. Peter Liu's going to show us all around and bring us to my dad's old stomping ground (if it's still around, I have no idea...) and the ocean... gah! I'm so excited! Then I'll come back to DC in August (probably) to work for 3 more weeks, hopefully avoiding beach week with my relatives, and coming back to school on September 5th (early, for Glee Club and O101)

School: I raised my GPA .1 this semester, which I guess is something. I really wish my school weren't so competitive, so maybe I could qualify for some kind of honors or scholarships, but it seems like everyone who has my GPA has it so "low" because they had a family member die or went to do service work in Tanzania for three weeks or has 8 extra-curriculars. Ok, well at least I fall into the last category. Next semester I'm taking the most baller classes, possibly because they all have to do with my major(s?). History of Western Music I, World Music Analysis, History of Opera (I'm taking it at Smith. I love the 5 college consortium. Except people have bad experiences with Smith classes. Ah, well, I'll see for myself.), Beginner's Tai Chi (I'M SO PUMPED! 9years of kung fu? How is that going to react with beginner's tai chi? Can't wait to find out!!), and right now I'm signed up for the first part of the Philosophy History courses, but I might change that to something more generic while I figure out if I want to major in it or not. PLUS: 2 credit voice, 2 credit piano, and 1 credit glee club. So since Gyms don't count toward credits, that's 21 credits, which is one above credit overload. Permission is easy to get, I'm not worried. I didn't make Chamber Singers AGAIN this semester. Which sucks btw.

Life: Has been ok. I don't think I'm happy, though. I'm not depressed, or even sad, I just feel uncomfortable living out of suitcases and just want to be back in school settled again. The truth is I want a home where I can actually put stuff down and not have to worry about remembering where I put it so I can pack it later. While I love college, I can't wait to get my own house and just settle. I don't know what to think about my surroundings anymore, particularly people. I just haven't been invited to do stuff with my normal friends (and wouldn't know they were even doing things if they hadn't invited Brian) and instead I've been spending more time with the college Kamikazes or Ranger or my Grandma. And Brian, of course, the greatest best friend in the world. Which I don't mind. In fact, them not inviting me made me hang out with people I wouldn't have before and I can't imagine these past two weeks if I hadn't gotten so close with those people.

I've written a lot. I think it's time for bed or Sims or something else now.

Goodnight.

Unrequited love is probably the best feeling in the world.

Really, the best.

Oy.

I didn't need another thing to worry about on top of finals.